Please direct inquiries to:

Dana Laurie

office@jamespconnolly.tv

JAMES P. CONNOLLY, MARINE TURNED COMEDIAN, HEADLINES IRVINE IMPROV BENEFIT FOR US MARINES.

‘Operation Semper Funny’ raises money for Camp Pendleton 5^th Marines support group.

IRVINE, Calif. — Comedian and former U.S. Marine James P. Connolly will headline the upcoming “Operation Semper Funny” benefit show at the Irvine Improv Comedy Club July 29. The show’s proceeds will go toward the Dana Point 5^th Marine Regiment Support Group and include dinner, door prizes and a silent auction. A 5^th Marine Desert Storm veteran himself, Connolly is thrilled to support the cause and headline the show.

“I got my start in comedy as a U.S. Marine during Operation Desert Storm in the early 1990s,” said Connolly. “My Commanding Officer asked me to write him one liners for a dinner roast of all the Officers in the Battalion. Of course, when a Colonel “asks” you to do something, consider it an order! I may be the only person who started a comedy career with a lawful command to do so!”

Prior to Desert Storm, Connolly attended Harvard University on a Marine Corps ROTC scholarship. In addition to appearing in television, commercials and independent films, he is recognized as one of the most-played comedians on SiriusXM’s comedy channels and a regular guest on the nationally syndicated Bob & Tom Radio Show.

James has made multiple trips overseas to entertain the troops, including entertaining his former unit, 3^rd Battalion, 5^th Marines in Iraq following the Battle of Fallujah in 2004.  He also produces an annual Veterans Day Comedy Benefit show in Burbank, raising money for Veterans causes.

The Dana Point 5^th Marine Regiment Support Group formed in 2004 with the goal of reaching out to Marines and sailors and their families. In 2008, it became fully operational and has continued to pursue its mission through care packages, sponsoring events for expectant mothers, gathering food for families and arranging financial resources for troops. Many members of the 5^th Marines have recently returned to the area after nearly a decade of deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan

“People always tell me ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look anything like a Marine.’ said Connolly. “Of course I don’t look like a Marine! Because that’s exactly what the enemy would be expecting me to look like!”

“Operation Semper Funny” begins at 6 p.m. on July 29 at the Irvine Improv. Tickets are $35 each, which includes dinner and door prizes. Other comedians include: Tom Riehl, Ron J. Ruhman, Julie Kidd and Billy Houston. Those who cannot attend but would like to support the cause are encouraged to sponsor a Marine and his or her spouse by making a donation to the secure PayPal account, which can be accessed on the event’s website.

To learn more, visit http://danapoint5thmarines.com/semper-funny. To find out more about James P. Connolly’s upcoming appearance visit www.jamespconnolly.tv

# # #

On Sunday, November 11th James P. Connolly presents the 3rd Annual Veteran’s Day Benefit Comedy Show, “Cocktails & Camouflage”, at Flappers Comedy Club. The event will raise funds for the Veterans in Film & Television. VFT is a networking organization that unites current and former members of the military working in film and television and offers the entertainment industry the opportunity to connect with and hire veterans.

The show features some of the funniest comedians in Southern California, many of whom served in the US forces: Greg Hahn (Comedy Central, Conan O'Brien. USMC), Laurie Kilmartin (Last Comic Standing, Conan), Mark Valley (Boston Legal, Body of Proof, Army), PJ Walsh (Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Navy), Byron Bowers (Comedy Central, Adult Swim), Dana Eagle (Craig Ferguson), plus Special Guests & hosted by James P. Connolly (Sirius/XM Radio, USMC).

Sunday November 11th Showtime 7PM 

Flappers Comedy Club 

102 E. Magnolia Blvd Burbank, CA 91502 

Tickets $20 - Buy Online: http://www.h2f.net/h2fnew/index.phppg=showdetail_page&meetid=014c517228c18c8&id=8526 

or you can call 818-845-9721 

 Last year we had great success offering supporters across the country the opportunity to help our cause, even though they could not attend. So this year we are offering the all-new Buy A Ticket for a Veteran. Simply click on the Special Offer link below and buy a Ticket for a Veteran to Attend the show for only $20! You purchase the tickets directly through Flappers Comedy Club and we will ensure it gets to a Veteran!

I sincerely appreciate the support for this growing Annual event. It is my hope to continually bring awareness and funding to Veteran Organizations as a way of saying Thank You for the service and sacrifices made by so many and their families.


Semper Fi,

James P. Connolly
Capt. USMC ret.
Follow us on Twitter @jpcpresents

6 degrees of Balloon Boy

I actually do know the Heene family. I worked with them on several occasions when they ran a video editing business in Los Angeles. I remember one conversation in particular. At the time it meant nothing to me, but in retrospect it was filled with subtle clues.

I walked in to their editing offices holding a shiny silver mylar balloon shaped like a muffin top, as I had done on several occasions before. I handed the balloon to Mayumi and she tied it to Falcon’s stroller. Richard and I began our usual banter:

Me: “Some pretty amazing weather we’re having, huh?”

Richard: “I have discovered the secret of anti-gravity in the cyclonic action of tornadoes. I am going to put my children in the center of one to test my theory.”

Me: “Touche’!”

Suddenly, the balloon began to come loose. Falcon crawled out of the stroller and into a box marked “in case of hoax”.

I said, “Isn’t that cute?”

Richard screamed, “Mayumi! You didn’t tie the f*#@ing balloon!!!”

I asked the Heenes why they decided to have a third child, and Richard said it was because the oldest two would be too large to hide in the attic. When I pressed why would the kids hide in the attic, the Heenes all threw up on me. After I demanded they stop throwing up on me, they ran to hide in the attic. Informing them there was no attic in the building, the Heenes began to vomit on each other. When their dry heaves ran silent, Richard apologized and offered to swap me his wife, but asked if he could yell at her and kicked something first.

I said, “If you do…I will call the police and local news on you!”

“You’d do that for me?” he whispered.

NOTE: Congratulations to the Heene’s hometown on their brand new revenue stream: "Welcome to Fort Collins. Home of the Balloon Boy Incident."

Psoas I was saying…

Psoas muscle: (SO-az) either of two muscles of the abdomen and pelvis that flex the trunk and rotate the thigh

I have a Psoas muscle. I never knew I had a Psoas muscle until it attempted to relocate my hamstring through my tailbone. I am lying flat on my back right now grimacing to the beat of involuntary internal contortion. For those of you not familiar with the mighty Psoas, it and the hamstring perform the muscular “alley oop” of the lower body. Medically speaking, I suffer from an excess of “oop”. Now I wake up in surprise positions that look like hieroglyphics.

The usual suspects have chimed in their 2 cents. Go See A Doctor! Normally, I would. But sadly, little is known about the human spine. Most of it is made up of chalk held together by a viscous slime similar to a raw oyster. (Note: like the oyster, spinal gelatin is a powerful aphrodisiac) While it seems to be a very pliable, responsive system, the spinal column is actually a rigid mechanism with a finite number of pre-determined moves, and when you have completed your moves…you die. Those of you thinking this argument is not supported by medical fact are 100% correct. It was taken from the Underwriters Handbook of my Health Care Provider.

The Psoas must be important. An online video Pilates instructor specializing in “pole dancing” conditioning vouches for its value. So in this era of medical advances, let us not mourn the lack of funding for mankind’s ailments. Let us instead turn to the “medicine of mob rule” on the Internet. All of life’s problems can be healed through “stripper-centric wellness” programs available on You Tube.

So while I develop carpet burn from fidgeting on the living room floor in search of temporary spinal nirvana, I offer you this Blog.
On behalf of my self and my tirelessly twitching Psoas muscle currently performing a salsa number on my sacrum, I must crawl away.

JPC

Thanko De Mayo

I don’t do this for the awards and accolades. It’s not about the ego stroke or the gut feeling that you think more of me than you do yourself. It’s not about that.
But occasionally some award comes along that makes me stop and take notice.

So I would personally like to thank YOU. I don’t know who YOU are, but YOU know who you are. And on the off chance that you have no idea who YOU really are, maybe this could be YOU?

Without people like YOU, I would not be here today, proudly claiming my honor as the 4th Most Perfect Comic for the 95.5 FM KLOS Cinco de Mayo Five O'Clock Funnies on air poll.

YOU took the time to sing my praises. YOU made the effort. YOU overlooked my 50% less than Hispanic side and said, “No me importa”.

The results:

George Lopez 25 votes
Paul Rodriguez 15
Gabriel Iglesias 15
James P. Connolly 1- (That would be YOU!)

So thank YOU! Not to be pushy, but maybe next time you could call in with a friend.

Muchas Gracias…

Don Diego de la Connolly

Benefit Show May 17th Lake Tahoe IMPROV

Just spreading the word about a fantastic benefit show taking place May 17th at Harrah's in South Lake Tahoe.

"Maxed Out Laughter" sponsored by the Lake Tahoe IMPROV
May 17th 7:30PM
Harrah's Lake Tahoe - South Shore Room

For ticket info go to: www.southshoreroom.com

Proceeds for the event go to help veteran comedian Max Alexander who is in need of a kidney and is facing rising medical bills.

The show will be in the South Shore Room at Harrah's Lake Tahoe (yeah Elvis has been there)
and so far the lineup includes:

Rocky Laporte
Scott Henry
Mark Pitta
James P. Connolly
Kat Simmons
and always the "Master of the Ceremony" Howie Nave.

Great Comedy. Great cause. Great place to be on Saturday May 17th!

See ya there and spread the word to anybody you know in the Tahoe/Reno/Sacramento area.

JPC

2008: Predictable Resolutions

I think people love the word “resolution” because it actually sounds like you just might do something. Let’s call New Year’s Resolutions what they really are; a list of “who I wish I was but know damn well I won’t be by the end of January.”

This year my resolutions are bullet proof. I have created an impenetrable list of success. For 2008…I lay down my gauntlet.

Resolutions:

1 To be a better man.

2 To write my own definition of the word “better”, making the man I currently am good enough.

3 In the event that I fail to live up to the new version of the word “better”, I reserve the right to compare myself to a “lesser” man.

4 If a “lesser” man does not exist, I will redefine the word “lesser”, so that “any” man is someone I can be “better” than.

5 If all resolutions fail to come true, I will live among the animals making me the “only” man and undisputed holder of the “better” man title.

6 Should I be challenged by an “ape-man” of unusual intelligence, I hereby entitle myself to settle all disputes through “opposable thumb wrestling” or a “who doesn’t throw their feces” competition.

7 To come up with at least 7 resolutions.

8 To exceed my expectations.


**All resolutions are subject to revision without notice.

JPC